Having a good grasp on emotional intelligence can help you work well as a member of a team in an academic or workplace setting. The ability to work well with others is listed as a qualification in most job descriptions. If you aren’t familiar with emotional intelligence or feel like you struggle to develop it, here is more information on it as well as ways to practice and improve it. What is Emotional Intelligence? As author Travis Bradberry defines it, emotional intelligence has four core skills that are a part of two categories. The first category is Personal Competence, which consists of self awareness and self management. Self awareness is the ability for one to accurately perceive your emotions and stay aware of them as they happen. Self management is the ability to use your awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and positively direct your behavior. The second category is Social Competence, which includes social awareness and relationship management. Social awareness is the ability to pick up on emotions in other people and understand what is going on with them. Relationship management is the ability to use that knowledge to manage your interactions successfully. Using all four of these competencies, you can improve how you handle your own emotions and, in turn, use your emotional intelligence to relate to your colleagues’ feelings and behaviors. Why is Emotional Intelligence So Important? Numerous studies have found that emotional intelligence is a highly valued trait. It is seen as a driver of leadership and personal improvement. Your level of emotional intelligence often determines your rate of success in the workplace. There is also a strong correlation between emotional intelligence and salaries, with evidence that employees who have high emotional intelligence earn up to $29,000 more a year than people with lower degrees of emotional intelligence. Emotional Discipline One aspect of emotional intelligence that is particularly valued in the workplace, is emotional discipline, the ability to recognize how to handle different emotions at different times. Emotional discipline is particularly valuable for people who work in teams often or hold leadership and management positions because it allows you to react to certain circumstances appropriately. By managing emotions such as anger, frustration, and stress effectively, you can convey confidence and competence when handling problems that arise. Control over your emotions will lead to peace and order in your organization. You will also be able to earn your colleagues’ trust quicker. How Can I Improve My Emotional Intelligence? There are many actions that you can take to build and improve your emotional intelligence. The main factor is an ability to listen. Focus on thinking before you speak and controlling your thoughts. These two practices will decrease your chances of act rashly and saying something that might end up offending others or creating divisions within your workplace. One particularly bad habit you should kick if you are looking to improve your own emotional intelligence is negative self talk. Numerous studies have found that constantly criticizing yourself is extremely bad for your mental health. If we constantly talk to or about ourselves negatively, that kind of destructive energy will move into our interpersonal communication as well. Empathy vs Sympathy Empathy is different than sympathy. It’s easier for people to be the latter. Recognizing someone's emotions and reacting accordingly is a skill often developed early in life. Empathy, however, is the ability to share the emotional experience that someone else is having. As Jeff Moss states: “When a friend loses a family member, sympathy is flowers and a hug — empathy is shedding tears alongside that friend and not by choice, but due to actually feeling their emotions.” Empathy requires a deeper connection with the individual. To develop empathy, one must recognize that it is a habit. The most empathetic people are also reflective. They can clarify what people are saying to them and not just parrot it back. Emotional Intelligence is Important In a world where most communication is through technology rather than in person, emotional intelligence is becoming harder to develop. The ability to understand a person’s emotions and be able to manage that relationship accordingly will be helpful in your work and personal lives. Connecting with people on a deeper level builds trust and understanding that would otherwise have not been possible before.
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